you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
