1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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