...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
