shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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