My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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