You made me cry and you don't even care
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
