Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
