why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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