Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
