im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
