I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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