Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize