this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Come see our sink grown plant.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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