I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
