had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I FOUND THE LEGS
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
