She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
