I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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