Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
