If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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