Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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