Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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