I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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