marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Princesses don't give blow jobs
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize