Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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