I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
50% drunk capacity currently
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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