Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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