You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
