dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
