I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
