I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
