oh god the rape fog is back!
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
