can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
