Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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