I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
