this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
