Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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