I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
