just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
