That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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