she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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