She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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