tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
