So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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