Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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