i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Randomize
