4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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