Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
