U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Drunk is not a location!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
