I'm really into asian looking animals
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
