Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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