I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
