also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
