he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
