I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
