my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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