giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
