Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
