Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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