I feel great
I just peed on a car
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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