hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
