Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize